W E L C O M E
About me: ♀ | ♐ | XXIII
Some Fandoms: Supernatural | Mass Effect | Dragon Age | Shin Megami Tensei | Elder Scrolls | VTMB | ATLA | Adventure Time | One Piece | YGO | KHR | DRAMAtical Murder | Shingeki no Kyojin | Free!
Warning: Untagged posts, spoilers and 18+ content dwell within
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.
the not listening thing is SO IMPORTANT. my parents threatened to take away my phone and computer to find out about my feelings because i “wouldn’t” talk to them about it. it took my therapist to convince them that i had been trying to tell them exactly what was happening but they just didn’t listen to me when i said it.
A Jewish woman and a Palestinian woman protesting together in 1973, 1992, and 2001.
Some people say I look like this guy by MrLegenDarius
OH MY GOD YES
I’M FUCKING SCREAMING OMGGGGGG THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE 90S TO ROMANTICIZED BY NON-90S KIDS FUCK
I feel like a legend.
If you went or know anyone who went to SDCC and saw this cosplayer, the police seriously need your help. _
The cosplayer was found at the side of a road unconscious and bloody without her ID and in her costume. The police are unsure what happened to her.
If you have ANY information or saw her anywhere, call The San Diego Police Department at (619) 531-2000 or (858) 484-3154.
PLEASE Spread the message.
Personal note: I am not personally involved with the situation, I have not been to that con nor seen the cosplayer only saw the issue being raised on Facebook, so I’m raising more awareness on here. More infomation: x
Reblogging in hopes this case get solved fast!
come on tumblr this needs more notes
THIS IS MY FRIEND MILLY! SHE’S IN THE HOSPITAL IN ICU STILL IN SAN DIEGO WITH SEVERE BRAIN BLEEDING. PLEASE reblog this and let the police know if you have any information!
Too mind bending not to reblog!
i feel like this is exactly what Vincent Van Gogh saw and now i am crying
This is incredible
together at last
excuse me i have something important 2 add
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
Living on the shore of Lake Ontario, just east of Toronto, photographer Matt Molloy has daily encounters with brilliant sunsets and cloudscapes that he’s been taking photographs of for over three years. One day he began experimenting with time-lapse sequences by taking hundreds of images as the sun set and the clouds moved through the sky. Molloy then digitally stacked the numerous photos to reveal shifts in color and shape reminiscent of painterly brush strokes that smeared the sky. You can learn more about his “timestack” technique over at Digital Photo Magazine and prints are available here.